I've been trying to keep up with the blog-- and the film (which is in pretty good shape!)-- and work, and my life... and I'm kind of failing miserably. And by failing I mean I'm doing a great job taking care of Momo and that's about it. What else matters, right?
I'll tell you.
While going through infertility stuff, I think the single most infuriating comment I heard from people, other than "just relax," was, "be lucky you don't have kids because you get to sleep." All I could think about at the time was F. U. friend. FU.
Now I am lucky to be enduring sleepless night of holding Momo for hours because her nose is stuffy or because her brain is wiring to start walking and talking and she's wide awake at 3am and all that jazz. But I'm also f-ing tired beyond anything I've ever known. I wonder sometimes if we who have lived on IF Island for so long are coming to starting line of parenthood already exhausted. Kind of emotionally depleted, extra anxious, physically beat. I think yes. Perhaps. But I think the sheer lack of rest is just utterly mind numbing for anyone. It takes everything in my power to form coherent sentences, much less write them. But I'm not complaining. Just stating facts.
The facts for many of us are simple, whether going through infertility procedures, parenting after ART or parenting in general. We need to find ways to recharge. We need to find ways to let our mind and body rest. We need to find ways to make eye contact with our partners and not just talk about...the next procedure, the egg donor website, the unfairness of it all, the kid in front of us. We need to find ways to not be depleted. Because life is depleting. Living on IF Island is depleting. Having a 10 month old who loves to lick the bottom of shoes and climb the bookshelves is depleting. So many of us often feel like we are constantly trying to catch up with our lives and our sanity.
No, not today. Tomorrow.
No wait. Not tomorrow.
Saturday...um I can't Saturday...
Sunday. YES! Sunday. So I challenge all of us to do something for ourselves on Sunday. Something just for us. Something that is unrelated to any obligations, any to-do list-- something that will fill our tanks even just a little. Please feel free to share here what help you recharge. I'm all ears and open to ideas!